Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
