YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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