you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
