very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
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...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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