We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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