she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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