just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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