Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize