Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
