I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
