just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just high enough for therapy.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
