tell your sister to shave her snatch
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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