Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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