There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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