The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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