I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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