Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
