Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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