Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
