Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
