It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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