she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
