First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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