I'm really into asian looking animals
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We left an ass print on the piano.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
