Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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