Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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