It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize