roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do you remember whose house we're in?
is that a dick in a sweater?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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