his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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