i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
