I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
