i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
