is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
