the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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