I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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