I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
