I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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