i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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