He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
