Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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