I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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