Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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