I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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