I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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