Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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