I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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