he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
