I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
