I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
