I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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