he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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