When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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