weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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