'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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