I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
