I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize